The Specs:
Only their mother can tell them apart.
Arnold Schwarzenneger
Danny DeVito
Kelly Preston (Sky High)
Marshall Bell (Total Recall)
David Caruso (CSI: Miami)
Julius and Vincent Benedict are the results of an experiment that would allow for the perfect child. Julius was planned and grows to athletic proportions. Vincent is an accident and is somewhat smaller in stature. Vincent is placed in an orphanage while Julius is taken to a South Seas island and raised by philosophers. Vincent becomes the ultimate low life and is about to be killed by loan sharks when Julius discovers that he has a brother and begins looking for him. – IMDB
After viewing Twins from start to finish, I realized I had never seen this movie entirely through before. I remember a clip here and there from childhood but it turns out I only had a vague idea of what the plot was about. Yes, it’s about separated twins rediscovering each other and getting involved in various antics. Pretty cliché these days but there were many elements in this flick that made it stand out above the rest. The back story, for example, is fairly unique. Scientists are trying to create the perfect human being via a “genetic milkshake” (yes, they used this term in the movie) created between six men whom individually occupy extremely high marks in intelligence, strength, and other human traits. A woman volunteers to take on the “milkshake” and give birth to what should be the perfect human specimen.
Unbeknownst to all responsible parties, twins are born. As a result, the scientists inform the fathers and the mother that the “lesser” child died during birth. Julius (Arnold), the first and the perfected of the twins, is raised on an island by the scientists and never told of his lesser twin until thirty or so years later. Vincent (Danny), however, was immediately given away to an orphanage and gradually grew to a life of mischief, crime, and slime baggery.
So the first third or so of the film is Julius leaving the island to seek his long lost brother. But at the same time he has to learn to adapt to the California culture. I was particularly fond of this angle, as it is apparent that Julius knows everything there is to know since he is extremely book smart. However, there’s big difference between knowing things from books than there is from actual experience. So, in a way, Julius is quite slow to pick up certain things that all of us take for granted (basic fashion sense, common sense, etc.).
When Julius finally tracks down Vincent, he immediately is launched into his world of lowly petty crime. Vincent doesn’t complain much after he realizes that this new musclebound guy easily protects him from bookies that keep harassing him for money he owes. The plot thickens somewhat when a bounty hunter (played by Kuato from Total Recall) is sent in to do the bookie dirty work. This is thrown into the mix as Vincent eventually accepts the truth that his “bodyguard” is his twin brother and goes on a quest to find their mother. The film ends nicely with the bounty hunter confrontation and with an interesting twist about the twins’ mother.
Overall, Twins was a lot better than I remembered it being. It broke into the top twenty when I had originally predicted it much lower on the rankings. I’d say that if they ever release a nice DVD set for this, I’d own it and watch it multiple times. I can still name nineteen “more preferable” Arnie flicks but I can’t really say anything bad about Twins. It was amusing to see David Caruso in a bit role as a mere parking deck attendant and I definitely thought Kelly Preston was absolutely hot, even considering the difficulty of naming any girl that was hot in the 80’s.
The Score:
The title song was actually kind of catchy. It was nominated for a Golden Globe so I guess a lot of other folks agree with me. The only other memorable portion of the score was the country music blaring at the square dancehall. I’m not a fan of the genre but what else would be playing in that setting? I give special praise to another Arnold sing-a-long, check it out below.
The Fact:
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito and Hulk Hogan have all revealed in interviews that Schwarzenegger and DeVito were given the option of doing this movie or Suburban Commando (1991); had the two chosen Suburban Commando, Hogan and Christopher Lloyd would have done this movie. – IMDB
The Sequence:
I think this is a fairly iconic sequence because I’ve seen it before in a montage of Universal Studios’ memorable film moments. It’s when Vincent decides that it is time for Julius to update his look so they wind up getting tailored for identical suits. As they are leaving, they both simultaneously flip on their sunglasses and toss their suit jackets over their shoulders.
The Line:
You know the winner has to be when Arnie breaks out the TRADEMARK line in a non-Terminator role. This is how he polishes off a bookie after a brief interrogation.
“If you’re lying… I’ll be back!”
The Shot:
This one was established within the first ten minutes of the movie. Ahnuld passes by a Sly/Rambo poster and kind of gives it a head shake of disbelief.
The Body Count:
I cannot claim that no one was harmed because Arnold did take out the trash in a few sequences. However, no one was actually killed. It’s okay, Arnie, save those 200 kill counts for other projects.
The Extra:
Don’t talk back!
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